That's Comcastic! · Mar 14, 6:47pm

I recently ordered a TiVo HD from Woot, in order to replace the absolutely horrifically bad Motorola HD DVR that was provided to me by Comcast, the world’s leader in being terrible at everything. I have been extremely excited about getting the new TiVo HD set up, and after placing the order, my first task was to call Comcast to order my CableCards.

On my first attempt calling Comcast, I politely explained that I would like to get a single Multi-Stream CableCard to install in my new TiVo HD. The representative on the other end of the line said “we don’t support TiVo.” Understanding that the person on the other end of the line was not actually a human being, but a tech support monkey, I politely asked for her supervisor. The supervisor was nice enough, and told me that I could pick up a CableCard at my local office and that I didn’t need to do anything until the TiVo HD arrived. Comcastic!

The next day, on a sneaking suspicion that the supervisor had their head up their posterior, I initiated a chat with Comcast’s technical support team through their website. This time, the technical support engineer not only knew what a CableCard was, they explained that I would need to place an order for one, which they walked me through. “You’ll be able to pick it up at your local Comcast office when your TiVo arrives.” I felt reassured, and later that day, I received shipping confirmation for my TiVo HD from FedEx. I was on my way! Comcastic!

The next morning, I received a call from my local Comcast office. They explained to me that I could not, in fact, pick up the CableCard. They would have to send out an engineer. Okay, fine, I said. Anything to get rid of this terrible Motorola DVR. The appointment was made, and I was told to be home on Friday from 2:00 PM until 5:00 PM, when a technician would arrive and install a single Multi-Stream CableCard. Thankfully, I work from home, so this would not be a problem for me.

Thursday night, I hooked my TiVo HD up to my TV, disconnecting the old Motorola DVR, and went through the guided setup, which was straightforward and pleasant. In the process, I spent 3 minutes on the phone with TiVo, who activated my service quickly and efficiently. All I needed now were the CableCards from Comcast.

Friday morning came. Then Friday afternoon came. Around 3:00 PM, square in the middle of my “window” for service, the phone rings. Its Comcast. They wanted to confirm with me that I’d be getting two new cable outlets installed in my home today. Huh? What?! That can’t be right…. I explain to the representative that is not what I have asked for, and she assures me that she’s put a note on the account, and that I should expect the technician to arrive within the scheduled time.

Its 4:59 PM. Comcast still isn’t here. I pick up my phone and call Comcast. The representative says that she’ll send a note “to dispatch” and see what’s up. “It will probably take about an hour or two for them to respond.” But, we had a window. A three hour window! Knowing that there was nothing else that could be done, I waited.

5:34 PM. A Comcast truck pulls up in front of my house, and a technician gets out of the car with two Single-Stream CableCards in his hand. Okay, so its not exactly what I asked for, but it’ll have to do.

6:28 PM. The CableCards are in my TiVo HD, and after no less than 14 phone calls to Comcast, most of which were spent on hold, or being transferred to someone who knew what a CableCard was, my TiVo HD seems to be receiving its channels through the CableCard.

6:29 PM. We realize that in the process of installing the CableCards, the technician has managed to remove my cable modem from my account, and I am now without internet. The technician explains that this is not his problem, and that he wants to leave. I firmly ensure that he stays with a glare that would put fear in the heart of the devil himself.

6:54 PM. Internet has been restored. The TiVo HD seems to work. I tell the technician to leave.

Comcastic!

As a short aside, anyone who thinks that Apple is going to get into the DVR game is insane. If they were uncomfortable with the cell phone industry, what do you think they’ll think of the mess that is cable television?